There is a language that is peculiar to every group of people. This language is a unique and integral part of their identity. The English have the English language; the Africans have a variety of Bantu languages, the Maoris have theirs and the same is true for every tribe. Language is important because it helps us communicate with one another, and achieve an overlap in our understanding of issues. This is shared communication which is the bedrock of dialogue. However, the most important communication you will ever have in your life is not a dialogue but a monologue. This is the conversation that you hold with yourself. The truth is that each one of us and every waking moment of our lives we have running commentaries on our minds. We are continuously speaking to ourselves; and our conversations with ourselves are made up of a collection of words and phrases that form our own unique language. There are words and phrases that are commonly used by winners in their monologues and sometimes also in their dialogues. This is the language of winners. Similarly failures have their language. Phrases like, you win some and lose some; it can not be done, and I will try are recurring phrases in a loser’s language that we explored in the last issue. Today we explore a few more, the import being that the language with which you speak to yourself is a very important sculptor of your destiny. Losers lose partly because they misfire in their monologues Language of desire.
It is too late
One of the hallmarks of a mindset of failure is found in the expression, “it is too late.”
The old believe that it is too late to change the courses of their lives. The middle-aged man trailing behind his peers believes that it is too late to catch up. Many people believe that it is too late to restart and pursue their original dream. Once one believes that it is too late, he is automatically discouraged from making the necessary effort. Too late is always an excuse for not beginning because beginning is then judged as a waste of time and effort. “Too Late” assumes that no effort no matter how heroic can produce the desired results. It is another way of saying that it is impossible and it cannot be done.
Many people unwittingly mistake late for never. It is better to achieve a million late in life than never. It is better to die having achieved your dream late in life than to die having not tried to reach your ideal. It is better to settle out of court on the eleventh hour than to suffer the ignominy of an embarrassing litigation. It is better to do a u-turn late than to continue along the line of destruction. It is always better late than never. Life has many variables. Time is one them, yes, but not the only one. Who knows whether the other variables will not conspire to give you the victory?
Well, you believe that it is too late but give me an opportunity to ask you a few questions.
Do you know what twists and turns hide behind the corner? Do you know what tomorrow will bring? How many deadlines are extended everyday? How many front-runners have changed tack leaving the late starters with a chance they never countenanced?
The truth is that most people that say that it is too late fear that by entering the race they will be conspicuous by their presence. The seventy year old who decides to go to medical school will certainly be conspicuous by his presence in a class with a preponderance of young people. However, if he persists on graduation day he will become the purple ice flake- the ultimate distinguished achiever. It is never too late to become what you want to become in life. No excuse not even time nor age should deter you from achieving your goals.
o I am just an ordinary person.
The words that we use to describe ourselves to ourselves are very important. They are a representation of an image of ourselves that we secretly harbor in our minds. This picture that we hold of ourselves determines what we do and how we do it. The average person thinks he is just a person and thereby relegates himself to the league of the mediocre. The word just and its various translations are very common in most languages. When used with the first person it betrays low self-esteem and false humility. Many people engage in self-deprecatory attitudes by assuming that they are just ordinary people and no more. Those that call themselves just ordinary see themselves as belonging to a class of human beings that is slightly above 50% in capability. Consequently their lives hover around the mediocre. They also disqualify themselves from most excellent opportunities. Their expectations are often small. Since expectations help to shape behavior, they behave in ways that repel success and attract failure.
The winner knows that there is no ordinary individual. All individuals are unique. The winner therefore sees himself as the special one and constantly engages in monologues that reinforce this self- image. Other people may not agree with him, but what matters most is the opinion that he has about himself and his abilities. The one who describes himself as the Iron Duke will seek to behave as an iron duke in real life. The one who describes himself as useless will show signs of impotence in all his endeavors, and the special one will also produce special results. The fact is that we intimidate or encourage ourselves more than any situation will ever intimidate or encourage us. Jose Mourinho was derided for calling himself “The Special One” when took over as coach of Chelsea football club, but after three years in charge he has broken all records and has indeed proved to be the special one.